Monday, December 5, 2011

in {her} shoes...nicole

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happy monday to all of you!  how was your weekend?  ours was white because we got our first snowfall of the year!  i had a happy mommy moment yesterday when i took Bear sledding for the first time!  and on the mommy note, today's in {her} shoes guest poster is Nicole from Davis Domestications.  she does some amazing things with furniture....especially this butterfly desk.  i want it and totally wish i was in texas so i could get it!



Howdy ya'll! I'm Nicole from Davis Domestications. This was really hard for me to write, so bare with me. I don't have a story like some of these moms on here, it was just hard for me to write. Here I go...

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The Mommy Club was a club I never really thought I'd join. I was petrified of being a bad mom, of not caring (I never had much patience for kids as a kid/teen). I always thought that IF I ever did have kids, I would have been married for 5 years and probably adopt or something.

HA!


I got married shortly after my 21st b-day and 3 weeks later I got pregnant. I had an identity crisis. In one year I went from being an independent single gal in the Army with a career ahead of me to being a dependent (I got out of the Army so I could raise the baby.) married gal with a baby and a failing marriage. It ended when my Little Man was just over 1 1/2.  I just couldn't stay in my situation... All of my family is 2 states away, so I had no support. Enough of that part.
Being a young single mom with a little paying job wasn't easy, I didn't do anything except go to work, and hang out with my little man.  I loved that part. I surprised myself all the time with how consistent I was with him, how much I loved him how much I enjoyed him, how I actually did have some Mommy Skills. ;)



I had a huge double standard. I didn't want to even think of dating someone if they had been married or had kids. I didn't know how that would go. When I met Timothy, I asked him what my Little Man would be to him if things did get serious, he answered, "I'd raise him as my own son." Hook, line, and sinker. We were married shortly after Little Man's 3rd birthday.
Timothy is all I could have ever wanted and more. We've celebrated our 6th Anniversary and actually got to go out on a date for it. ♥

After two years of "not preventing" anything, and nothing happening, I decided to go ahead and sell my baby stuff since it was taking up valuable real estate in our cozy 756 sq. ft. home. You guessed it, I found out I was pregnant shortly after. Eek! When I was 6 months pregnant I got fired "not b/c you're pregnant"...right. I was adored there till I told them I was having a baby.  Guess that was God's way of making sure I was able to be a SAHM again. ;)


Little Dude arrived a month early. He had to stay in the hospital for a week and had all types of wires/tubes/etc. on him. It freaked me out. He didn't like to be held. Touching him did NOT comfort him. He didn't like to sleep, or eat. I don't think I got to get a whole night's sleep till he was at least 18 months old. He was a little behind on all the "charts" but I wasn't worried. Since then he has pretty much caught up and is a joy.


After I realized that my Little Dude would be a single kiddo when he was in the 6th grade, we decided to "not prevent" anything. My little Sweetheart was born 25 months later. Once again, I thought God was having a hay day with me and I was His comic relief. Why? I was so not the girlie girl growing up. I was a total tomboy. I am just now learning how to embrace my womanhood. :) Well, God knew she just what I needed. She was the reason I started being crafty again. I enjoy her so much more than I ever thought possible. The funny thing is I can tell already she's going to be a girlie girl. Guess I've got a lot of learning to do! ;o)

As a mom of three kids, DS9, DS3, and DD1 (in 1 week!) I struggle to find balance in life. I want to be the best mom and wife I can be. I also want to be good to myself-it’s so easy to put me way last-but I need to be of healthy mind/body/soul to be what I want to be for my family.  I seem to go in cycles.  When I take the time to do what I want to do (furniture face-lifts, blogging, etc.), I find that everything else starts to get less attention to it. You know, the house isn’t as clean, I am behind on laundry, I am not spending as much time as I feel I should with the kids/hubby.  That’s why I end up doing a few posts one week and then none for a while. :o/  When the DD1 is asleep, I try to spend some 1 on 1 time with my DD3. Then once my 2 youngest are in bed, I try to spend some 1 on 1 time with my DS9 before he goes to bed. Then it’s my hubby’s turn. By the time it’s MY turn, I am tired. I’m not a morning person anymore. I used to be, but not now. I’m not a night person now either. Lol.
 

I do a Bible study at church and I struggle to find a good time to really do my “homework”.  I don't want to just rush it and get it "done", I want to glean as much as I can from it. If I get up early, I can’t seem to wake up enough to really get anything out of it…I start drifting off.  Same with if I do it before I go to sleep.  However, the other night I wasn’t feeling that great so I decided to take a bubble bath. Then I had the bright idea of doing my Bible study in there.  It was great. J Guess I’ll just have to soak every night.


Sometimes I struggle with feeling sorry for myself I guess. Sometimes I focus on what I can’t do b/c I need a babysitter and can’t really afford one for 3 kids. I’d kid swap but everyone I know with kids has family that watches their kids so they don’t need anyone to swap with. We don’t have any family here that really give a darn. (another struggle of mine.) I don’t remember the last time my hubby and I got to go on a REAL date. We have dates at home once the kids are in bed, but it’s just not the same. Other times I find myself envious of my hubby b/c he gets to be by himself anytime he pleases. I realize that sounds really bad, but it's because he's off on his own a lot with work. So when he wants to do something, I usually say "go for it" because he needs to clear his head from all the craziness of being solely responsible for a family of 5. :)  Most of the time when I ask to go do something by myself I can, but with him not having a regular job (he’s self employed) I never know when he’s going to be here or working.
 

I also find myself frustrated with where we are in life. Since we have our own business, we live off of what we bring in. Sometimes it's great and I can pay all the bills before the month has begun.  Other months, I am using the "grace" period for some bills. :/ I am a gal who likes stability, so this can be very stressful to me. We live in really tiny house with no storage space/closets/garage, etc. We’ve redone a lot of it but there’s not a room that doesn't still have things that need work on. (I’m not talking about decorating here either. I’d do them if I could, but I either don’t know how or there’s no way I could do them with the kids running around.) With having my hubby’s business out of our home, all his supplies/tools, etc. are here, this just adds to the craziness. I am embarrassed to have people I just met over to our work in progress house. (Pride, I know.) Sometimes it really really bothers me.
I am not trying to have a pity party here, I am just keeping it real and sharing my struggles as a wife/mom/me. :)


With all my struggles, I also have a TON to be grateful for.

I have the Lord in my life.  He’s blessed me and my family so much, sometimes I don't see it and have to be reminded. ;)

I met my hubby when my DS9 was 2. He has taken him as his own. DH’s amazing. I have been so blessed with a hubby who loves, really loves me and our kiddos. He’s honest, faithful, loving, and giving. He’s brilliant-he’s the one that has really done our house…I can demo/paint, but he’s moved electrical, plumbing, built headers for our load bearing walls that we knocked down, etc. He can fix anything.  He’s my Mr. Incredible. I could go on and on.
 

We have a house. It’s not the best, but it’s ours.  If we lived in a nicer neighborhood I’d get into trouble for having a bunch of tree limbs in our front yard. (I’ve slowly been able to trim our two trees out front, but I can only work on it during certain times…I’m not having my kids roam free in the house or in the yard when I am out front working with power tools and my DH isn’t here. Lol). We’ve been able to transform our house to fit our needs. (It's now about 956 sq. ft. lol)
 
We have wonderful kids who have brought so much to our lives and have taught us so much. I love them more than I thought I could love anything.
   
 
We have a wonderful church family.
I have a few really close friends. I ♥ them.

With my hubby having his own business (that usually consists of just him) he’s able to be there if I need him, if my DS9 has an event at school, etc. It may be tight $ wise, but God has been faithful and always provided the means when we need it. I’ve grown so much in that area. Of course I’d love some stability, but these past 4 years have really grown my faith.  He’s taught me to lean on Him and Him alone. He’s in control. Praise the Lord for that!

We know how to have fun and enjoy the little things in life.

If you are still reading this, wow. I just reread what I wrote. I think this is the longest post I've ever written.


4 comments:

Tiaras & Bow Ties - Think Smink said...

amazing women! Thanks for sharing!

Sheri said...

I really appreciated your honesty. You have a lovely family, and even though things are "tight", it seems like you have a love that is sincere, and that is priceless. Wishing you the best. :)

raising4princesses said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
raising4princesses said...

I really loved this. Her honestly was so refreshing to read. This is a beautiful family. God is good.

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