Monday, July 11, 2011

in {her} shoes...kerry

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hello LoVeLiES
welcome to the first of many moMMa moNdaYs! 

today marks the first post in my in {her} shoes guest blog series. 

the series provides us a lOOk at liFe from another momma's life is walking in her shoes.  i'm so excited about this because we have amazing, inspiring mommas from different walks of life who are going to share their stories with us!   if you'd like to participate as a guest blogger, leave me a comment or email me at

our first blogga momma is a woman whose blog i ran across at a link party.  the title of her blog alone, made me smile.  but the beautiful story of the formation of her family was what was truly touched my heart. 

please welcome, keRRy...

Hello Crayon Freckles readers! My name is Kerry and I blog over at my life His Mission. I am a stay-at-home mom to my little girl, Alivea. I am writing as a part of Crayon Freckles series called “In Her Shoes” and I hope to be able to shed a little light today on what it’s like to be an adoptive momma.

My husband and I have been married for 12 years and have been actively ttc (trying to conceive) for 8 of those 12 years. (I hope that’s not too much information too soon!) Anyway, we were taking a break from fertility treatments in 2007 when we decided to look again at adoption. It had always been something close to our heart and something we wanted to do. We soon got a call that a birth mother had come into our adoption agency looking to place her baby for adoption. To make a long story short, our profile was picked by the adoption agency and we had just 6 short weeks to prepare for her birth. Alivea Joy was born in March of 2008 and needless to say our lives have never been the same. I remember seeing Alivea for the first time and thinking that she was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid my eyes on. She obviously looked very different from my husband and I, since she is African American and we are both Caucasian. But I never thought about that. All I knew what that I instantly loved her and she was mine. We had waited so long but she was definitely worth it.

(Here is a pic of Alivea and I just a few minutes after we got to meet her for the first time. She was less than 24 hours old.)

Alivea is 3 years old now and she truly is our Joy. I get asked questions all the time about adoption and about being an adoptive mom and so I would love to share a little bit of my heart on adoption with you. First of all, I know I am a little biased, but I really do think adoption is the best thing ever. My husband and I are Christians, but I’m not really sure that we really approached adoption from the “Christian” position before we adopted Alivea. We just knew that we wanted a child and we felt like adoption was a good option. It was only after Alivea’s adoption and learning to care for her and watching her grow that we really saw the gravity of what we had done. We had forever changed our lives and not just in the ordinary way that children change your lives. We had changed our family tree forever!

(Here is our recent family picture. This is my mother's side of the family. 4 generations and Alivea is in the front!)

Andie asked us to answer some questions about what life in {her} shoes is like, so here goes:
What is the most challenging part of being an adoptive momma?
What is the most rewarding part?
I think the most challenging part for me of being an adoptive momma is also the most rewarding part. It is being a momma to a child of a different race. My husband and I are constantly being looked at in the grocery store and everywhere. Everyone notices that Alivea is not the same color as her mommy and daddy. Alivea doesn’t really notice yet. But I know it’s coming. I always thought I would be ready for it but to be honest it scares me. My husband and I are constantly self conscious about whether we are doing Alivea’s hair right. We always have to think before we leave the house about whether Alivea’s hair looks decent. We get a lot of looks. A lot of them! But as much as they make me self-conscious, I try to welcome them because I know that as adoptive parents it is our job to be ambassadors. I want others to see the miracle that God provided for us and for Alivea. I want them to marvel at how a white family can raise an African-American child and I want them to know it’s because of our faith. It’s because of God. He loved me and therefore I love Alivea. I guess in that instance Alivea and I are kind of the same. We both have been adopted!

What is the most important value that parents can instill in their children?
My husband and I try to raise Alivea using the ideals of our faith. Alivea knows about Jesus and she prays a lot. She asks to pray for everyone- even little children she hears crying in the other aisle in the grocery store. I think that is the most important value that my husband and I can teach Alivea. I want Alivea to understand that we are called to love others because Jesus loves us. I hope that my husband and I can model that for her.

If your child could describe you in 3 words, what words would they pick?
It’s hard to say what Alivea would say about having me as her mommy. She often calls me her best friend but then again she also tells me to calm down and relax.
In closing, I hope I have given you a little insight into being an adoptive momma. Adoption is definitely a life-long decision that will change your life and your family’s life but it is so worth it. It is expensive (sometimes!) and it takes a sacrifice but the outcome is worth it. I would tell anyone interested in adoption to pray about it and ask lots of questions and then just jump. That’s what we did and it has been the best decision ever!

Please come check out my little blog at my life His Mission. Hope to see you there!

Thank you, Andie, for letting me share my story. I can't wait to hear all the other momma stories.
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