Monday, February 6, 2012

in {her} shoes...rebekah

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real quick i want to let you know that i've got a sweet and smushy guest post up at Just Us 4 today!  stop over and check it out!

today's momma guest poster for the in {her} shoes series is the amazing Rebekah from The Golden Gleam.  she is a sweet lady who does some really fun activities with her little girl.  here she is...
Thank you to Crayons and Freckles for the wonderful opportunity to share a bit of my life with you.  One of the most rewarding perks of being a blogger is connecting with amazing mothers all over the world.  The In Her Shoes Series shows that mothers share the same joys and struggles, and there is nothing more powerful than a mama's love.  Thank you for being in my shoes for today.

I am a mother to an energetic, passionate, brilliant, and stunning 4 1/2 year old girl and wife to a devoted, handsome, hard working, and intelligent man.  I have been working with children since I was a teenager and taught elementary school in New York City prior to becoming a mother.  I am so lucky to be a stay at home mom to my precious girl, and I think it's the best job in the world.  I get to be the boss (most of the time), use my creativity, and spend my days with my daughter who thinks I am the best mama in the world.  
I feel like I have been on my feet for over four years.  It seems like for the first five months of my daughter's life she screamed non stop, and the only way to soothe my screaming newborn girl was to hold in her in my arms and dance or take walks with her in the stroller.  What a way to lose that pregnancy weight, and it was a good thing I already favored comfortable shoes since I was always on the move.  For that first five months, I held her almost all the time because she would scream uncontrollably if awake in someone else's arms or not being held.  It was exhausting to not have any personal time or space, but I relished every single moment of it.  Due to infertility we had waited almost four years to hold a baby, and it was a dream come true that I had a baby who needed me to hold her.

At that time, I learned to trust my own instincts as a mother.  I didn't spoil her by holding her all the time, and she didn't turn out to be a child who screams all the time.  I threw out all my preconceived ideals about how I wanted to raise my child, and learned to be deeply connected to the needs of my daughter.  If I find myself struggling through an issue with my daughter, I stop to reflect and listen to what my heart tells me, respond out of love, and try not to react from my own negative emotions.  The connection I have with my daughter is the most rewarding part of being a mother.

Building a connection is my ongoing work as a mother, and with that comes challenges.  There have been phases my daughter has gone through that have tested me.  I find myself reverting back to reacting to her out of negative emotions because I am scared about her future.  When I start worrying about her future, I forget about focusing on the person she is now.  The fear of the future never has never improved the situation.  It may take time to grapple with that fear, but I eventually come around to realizing that worrying about her turning out to be an unproductive member of society isn't helping the matter.

I hope the love I show my daughter will model for her how to love other people.  My greatest hope for her is that she will build deep relationships with others as she grows and learn to show others love by giving, listening, forgiving, and understanding.

So four years after her birth, I am still a mother on the move who needs comfortable shoes.  As a family, we love to be active by hiking, playing, walking, traveling and creating.  If you want to see more of what goes on in our home, I'd love to have you over at my blog, The Golden Gleam.

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