Friday, May 18, 2012

my happy hippie boy

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This post was written as a contribution to the Boys Have Long Hair, Too Blog Carnival.  The participating bloggers are sharing their experiences, struggles, and opinions surrounding having a son who has long hair.

these are oh-so common statements Bear and i hear when we are out in public.  he is 31/2 and has yet to get a hair cut.  i've trimmed the front and the sides so they aren't in his eyes, but he still has all of his baby hair in the back.

many think that children cry when getting their 1st haircut because they see their hair as an extension of themselves.  when it's removed from their bodies, with no reaction from their parents, it causes turmoil in the child.

we're often asked when we plan on getting Bear's hair cut.  our response is,
"he'll get it cut when he wants it cut."

Bear loves his long hair.  he lets me pull it into a ponytail on occasion.  whenever we're out in public, i make it a point to show Bear other men with long hair.  i want him to know that his choice is acceptable as long as he's comfortable.  this morning, he actually pointed out a man and said, "he has long hair like me!"  ultimately, it's his body and i respect his wishes.  i won't do anything to my child that i wouldn't do or have done to myself.  would i want someone cutting my hair against my will?  no. 

i am afraid, though, that some insensitive person or another child will make say something that makes him feel embarrassed.  i don't want him to get his haircut because he feels ashamed of his hair or pressured to conform.  there's enough of that with the current status of public schools and societal pressures. 
we all want our children to be accepted and have friends, but i can't justify getting him an "acceptable" haircut {against his wishes} just to blend in to what has been deemed normal.  i've noticed that many others make judgments and whispered comments about him, myself, or our family in general based on the few things they know about us.  through supporting my son's decision to keep his hair long, i'm telling him:
i respect his choices.
i will not try to change him.
i love him as he is.
whether or not, others agree with my choices doesn't matter.  because at the end of the day, when i see him sleeping with his hands tucked behind that head of long hair, my heart tells me i'm doing this right. 

We'd love it if you stopped by to read submissions by the other amazing carnival bloggers

Boys Have Long Hair, Too: A Father’s View -- Alex from Glittering Muffins says it happens that not only does his son, Nico have long hair, he as the father has no problem with it either. He personally does not find that long hair emasculates a boy (or adult alike)...

Boys Have Long Hair, Too: A Maman’s View -- Valerie from Glittering Muffins son has been called a cute little girl for about a year and a half (he’s 2.5 yo). So she corrects people and tells them he’s a boy and loves his long hair (Once in a while she even throws in a “he also loves to watch Strawberry Shortcake”). 

Boys Have Long Hair, Too --The Monko from Taming the Goblin explains why she likes it when her son is mistaken for a girl and asks the question "Do mums of girls feel this guilty when their child doesn't like having their long hair brushed?"

Sampson -- Kellie from Our Mindful Life reflects on how long hair gives her son power.

Trials and Tribulations of a Boy with Tresses -- Carolyn from Mama's Little Muse talks about her experience in raising a boy with hair too beautiful to cut short. It is about how people have reacted; how she has created keepsakes featuring his hair; and also how they have arrived at a game that they play so that the hair brushing experience goes more smoothly.

Boys Have Long Hair, Too -- Sarah from This is Me…Sarah Mum of 3 is mum to 3 children a boy aged 10, girl aged 8 and a boy aged 5, Always loving the longer hair styles for boys her two boys have had many different hair styles over the years but always seem to resort back to the longer locks even against the negative comments they sometimes recieve.
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