Wednesday, June 28, 2017

On Parenting Our Hypothetical Children

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Do you remember your pre-child days? Remember all those things you swore you'd never do or let your child do? I do.... And I swear, most of them have gone by the wayside. Being a momma comes down to survival mode. We have to pick our battles.  But what are some of those battles we previously thought we'd win?
There's nothing I love more than hearing from other momma's about their journeys in motherhood. So on both my personal page and blog page, I asked,

 Before you were a parent, what was something you
*swore* your future children would never do that
you allow now that you are actually a parent?

And here's what everyone had to say.....

Time outs. lol I thought they were useless, they pretty much are, because it doesn't stop the behavior ...but I more so do it so I can compose myself and get 4 minutes of peace.

I hate the word "suck", but by the time they were in high school I let it go. They kept their mouths pretty clean around me even though I was smart enough to know that away from me it was a whole different story.

Let them have snacks at church. I let them watch way more tv then I ever thought I would.

My daughter is going to be five in January and still has a binky at bedtime.

Having my children sleep in bed with me. I did good with my other two and so did my husband with his two with the twins it went out the window the day we got them home from the NICU. I let them sleep with us ever since or with one of their siblings. Shame on me...

I always swore I'd never be too busy for my kid. They'd always have 100% of me, all the time. Nearly 17 years of this, and I can tell you there are definitely times when my kids didn't get all of me, or even the best of me. But I'm ok with that. It's helped my kids to realize they're not the center of anyone's universe, which is helping them to learn empathy.

Definitely sleeping in bed with me, I always thought it was dangerous! More dangerous is the seriously tired mom zombie. Once I snuggled her close and realized we were breathing in unison I knew that cosleeping could be safe! I do love all of her soft baby breaths and her sweet baby smell when she sleeps peacefully lol

Eat crap. I wasn't going to raise a picky eater! My kids would like flavors and veggies. Yep! Kids are their own people and you can't make them do anything! I have one picky eater and one who does eat anything.

Eat in my car.

Formula feeding. I was going to be that mom who would master the art of breastfeeding and avoid formula at all cost, cause it can't be THAT hard, right?! I got a huge reality check. My supply wasn't enough to sustain my son 100% of the time so I had to supplement with formula.

I said I would NEVER let the kids have a TV in their rooms.... fast forward to Christmas this year. 3 TV's with DVD's were wrapped under the tree. Sometimes you just need to put on a movie and have the kids be separated!

Sleep in a bed filled with stuffed animals.

I swore my children would not be allowed to sleep in bed with me....5 years later my daughter and I share a's just easier that way. I learned if you want to be able to sleep, sometimes you have to change your beliefs.

I know it's not really a big deal but I always said he wouldn't go play or open his Happy Meal toy before he was done eating. He opens the toy first and goes play right away, but he still eats his meal, 1 bite every time he comes out of a slide.

Sounds weird (and has a story behind it).... Watch Disney movies.

Play with Barbies... eat fast food... homeschool...

I love that so many mommas were comfortable enough to comment. I relate to ALL of them. I taught preschool for so many years. The guilt I have for all the judgment I passed is ridiculous. There's such a huge dissonance between being childless and thinking you know what is appropriate/needed to solve a child-related issue and actually being a parent and meeting the needs of your child with all the emotion involved.
Simply said, it's easier to parent when you aren't an actual parent. Once these tiny humans enter our lives, our emotions, hormones, and rationale are altered.
And that's okay. Different kiddos require different parenting styles. There is no "one size fits all" approach to raising children. Sometimes we have to adjust our previously held theories and beliefs to fit the darling little ones we are gifted.  How have your views changed since you became a parent?

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